A Skin Story

As I'm going to be going on at ya'all a lot more (hopefully) about various masks, cleansers and moisturisers I figure it'd probably be helpful if you had a little run down of my skin type / skin history. So here ya go... my skin story.

*If you're after a short summary of my current skin type without all the gaff then just flick to the bottom of the post.*

My Skin Story

I have problem skin. Acne. Adult freakin' acne. It's not pretty, it's not fun and it does nothing for my self esteem. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I want to tear at my own face because I'm so frustrated with the state of things.

I had the normal teenage hormonal pimples throughout out my teenage years, but from about the ages of 18-22 I never gave a thought to my skin care routine because, frankly, I didn't have to. I'd make sure I always removed my makeup and use St Ives Apricot Scrub (Oh the horror!) in the shower every morning and that was about it. At 23 everything went tits up, it started slowly, just on my cheeks, but soon spread to my forehead and chin. Little hard pimples and big angry cysts, setting up camp on my face and refusing to budge.

I have a few of theories about what might have triggered this onset of adult acne.

It could have been the ridiculous amount of stress I was under, a lack of sleep, deadlines and the final collapse (thankfully) of horrific relationship with an absolute dickhole that sent my body into overdrive.

Maybe it was the rather viscous bout of viral meningitis I've come to affectionally call 'The Menny-G Episode' that ransacked my physical being for around 3 months. Has it left me with a very visible souvenir of its reign over my flesh form? Obviously adult acne could not have been directly caused by the virus, but I'm pretty certain it, or rather the devastating effect it had on my health overall seemed to dramatically worsen the hold this spotty spiteful bastard had over me.

Or could it have been the switch from a combined birth control pill to a progesterone only version, screwing with my hormonal balance that sent everything out of wack?

Whatever it was I am now 25 and the least confident I have ever been in terms of my physical appearance. This will sound ridiculous to those of you who haven't ever had to combat acne, but there are days when I really just want to crawl back into bed rather than let the world see me.

I must point out here that it's not that I think I'm ugly, I'm a far cry from Emma Stone, Mila Kunis or Beyoncé but I'm generally happy with my appearance. However when your skin lets you down it's hard to consider yourself beautiful. Its hard to stay positive. Little niggles you had previously are suddenly amplified ten fold by the fact that you feel like everyone is looking at you, studying you, judging you.

I'm not stupid, I know that a lot of my fears about people seeing me as nothing but a pizza face are unjustified. Things always seem worse to you than others. However how you see yourself is what really effects your mood, your confidence.

As a person I'm pretty outgoing, highly sociable, completely comfortable laughing at myself and the silly situations I tend to get myself into, I dance like no one is watching and I'm one to speak out rather than stay shtum. However when my skin is really bad I find it hard to even look people in the eye. I can't even be comfortable around the people in my life I most love and trust because I feel like they are all going to find me disgusting and horrible. It's unjustified. They are my friends, my family, my boyfriend. They love me no matter what. But the problem is, at those times I don't love myself and it's hard to believe anyone else can love you when you don't feel worthy of it.

I've been battling the blemishy bastard for around three years now, been on various antibiotics, a number of creams and spent Lord only knows how much on skin care products. I've cut dairy out of my diet and dramatically reduced my caffeine intake. I even tried to stay off sugar for a while... that didn't last very long. Sometimes all a girl needs is a biscuit.

I've think I've finally found an antibiotic that might be helping. However my patience with the NHS (who I'm not saying i'm ungrateful for, don't get me wrong, we are indeed a blessed country in the healthcare department) is running out. I've been trying since January to get an appointment with a consultant, having moved house and therefore doctors, in order to obtain more of this antibiotic that I've run out of and they've so far failed me. The result... my skin is worsening again.

Having seen a small improvement for a while (by no means clear skin... just slightly clearer) my face is now really getting rather bad again, I feel like the equivalent of a child's dot to dot activity page.

I have found a few products that seem to have worked for me, and by worked I don't mean that they've cured anything, or that that miracle overnight cream does exist, I'm just saying that they seem to help certain key issues or at the very least not agitate existing ones.

I'll be popping reviews on these up over the next couple of weeks for all those who are interested. But this particular post isn't about that. This is hello, a howdy, a hey there, to any of you lovely lot who are also suffering. You are not alone guys.

I'm still fighting. I'm still frustrated. I still cry about the state of things.

SUMMARY

My current skin type is problem combination. I suffer from acne over my cheeks and forehead and get the usual hormonal breakouts around my chin. My cheeks are usually quite dry,with an oily T-zone and my skin on the whole seems to be very dehydrated. To top it off I'm incredibly pale and scar easily, on and am very sensitive to just about everything. More often than not when presented with a new product my pores clog and little red pimples appear, occasionally followed by additional big bad cysts.


Alrighty. There we go. Sorry it's not an overly happy post my loves. But I figured it'd be good to get something up and out there, give you guys some history into why my face can be a bitch and why I'm always going on about sensitivity etc. Today I don't feel great. I want to hide. I'm sure there's a bunch of you out there who sometimes feel this way too. The key I guess is to talk about it. That's what I do now. That's what I'm doing here. The more you bottle up the stress and pain the worse you'll make things for yourself. I know it's only a face. There's more to life than a perfect complexion. Some days I can cope just fine and not give it a second thought. However today is not one of those days and that's ok too.

Right I'm babbling now time too scooch. Cya later my chums. Stay wicked.xxx